Beyond the Flight: What I Realized About You

I know this Email is long overdue, but reflecting on that flight home brought back so many thoughts I had to write them down—especially as we recently discussed what it means to experience "love at first sight"

I have told you many times.. I have fallen for you and also agree today.. this connection is even before I realised... yes, love at first sight probably..

You know the end result of my thoughts post the flights.. but I wanted to share what I was thinking during my flight back from L to B... When the flight started, I started reflecting on how the campus experience went over those last few days. It took less than five minutes to realize — for me campus was summarised in a single word, it was just about you. Right from the first break, it was about spending more time and knowing you more instead of connecting with anyone else.

And then, as always, I started counter-arguing with myself. She’s married, has a kid, and such a different life... Why would she even stay in touch with you? She’s busy with family, business, and so much else going on — where would she even find the time?

And finally, why should you even be thinking about her?

It wasn’t clear at all why you were all over my thoughts, and for some strange reason, I couldn't shake you off from my thoughts at all....

When it was time for dinner on the flight, I skipped eating. First thought I had was, yeh ladki boli thi, par pata nahi kya khaya hoga... despite knowing that you confirmed as well, ki you went out and had something. I think, I was worried about your food from that day onwards :))

I had already started seeing you as a good friend, but the kind of concern I felt for you… I couldn’t categorize it. It wasn’t something I could define, but I knew one thing for sure — you have become an important person, and I was missing you.

Once I landed those thoughts were left behind as I picked up our conversation again.

The next day, when you were on your way back home, I remember texting you non-stop. At one point, I thought, kaam kar le, but I couldn’t stop. I just wanted to make sure you reached safely back to Ajmer. Even though I knew you’d get busy later that evening, I felt like texting you constantly until I was sure everything was fine. I remember you sending a selfie (which is one of my fav) in Indian attire and saying, back to the role of bahu... that yellow orange dress and here I see a completely different look of yours for the first time...

As our texts continued, that missing feeling faded, I realised it was not the end of our connection... Though that miss feeling now keeps coming again ;)

I didn’t feel the need to label what our connection was. It was just there — unspoken yet deeply understood.

But I think it was during the Cal zoom call that everything I had buried inside came to the surface.

Sharing all this feels important because, despite all the confusion I’ve had about my own feelings, one thing has always been clear: you are an important part of my life and you occupy a big portion of my mind and heart....

PS: I feel bad, today you will have all the free time and I will not be able to connect much.... sorry !!

^_^

Update: Thank you, AkM, for responding to this—it truly means a lot to me. I couldn’t resist sharing it here.

AkM's Response:

I loved reading all this from you :) 

The moment I saw you in person all I wanted was to have you around...  I dont know how but while penning these thoughts from last two days and redoing it again today such thought just clicked..... It has always been such realisations and thoughts just click with you. I dont have to think much about it somehow...

As we always think alike I also had such thoughts about why would you even think about me.. Why am I getting so much affected by your presence or not being present.....

But as we have revisited all this I realise now we had some strange unsaid unrealised connect with each other that was not selfish and superficial for sure... It is just way above them....

And about sending that pic.... i never felt i was sending it to someone i barely knew for 2 days... It felt like I had known you closely for years....

Would love to discuss you all this in person some day... :)

P.S : I m missing you alot..... Wish could have you around on text...on call or Zoom call may be..... 

But yeah this absence today is for your forever and I respect that

Loads of Hugs 

:) :)